1. Announcing to that world that you joined a fan page that you (and everyone else) will forget existed that next day.

2. Quoting lyrics to generic pop and/or rap songs. Supposedly they have a personal “meaning” behind the lyrics. Which is total B.S..

3. Bitching that you can never seem to find the right guy and that the ones you do find turn out to be assholes. Usually said to fish for compliments.

4. Legitimate status updates, i.e. what you are doing (or going to do), where you are, and so-on-and-so-forth.

5. Farmville updates. Seriously, nobody gives a damn that you found a “special rare” egg. No you’re the special one.